


Your Cheap Cologne

by JollyProbiotics



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, God I'm tired, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), Rated For Violence, honestly it has no genre im just all over the place, idfk, ill add more tags when i figure shit out, its kind of terrible at the beginning but stick with it i swear it gets better, plance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:21:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26264125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JollyProbiotics/pseuds/JollyProbiotics
Summary: Disguising herself as a boy is trickier than Pidge thought. Especially when the three boys she stays with are so nosey. And when she's a bit sloppy. And when Lance is just so fricking cute!Or the one where I mercilessly torture Pidge, physically, emotionally and mentally, and Lance is there to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt
Kudos: 19





	1. Seeing her again?

“When is he arriving?” Hunk asked Lance and Keith. The three had lived together in their large university dorm for almost six months, and they had a new roommate arriving later that day.

“In about two hours. That means we have a very short amount of time to get this place cleaned up. Keith, pick up your underwear. We want to make a good first impression,” Lance commanded.

“Do you think he’s tough looking and scary?” asked Hunk.

“Or maybe he likes knives and shit like Keith,” Lance suggested.

“Or, he’s just a normal dude, that’s not super special or anything, and he’s just chill. Hopefully, he’s not a stuck up dick though.” Keith picked up dirty laundry off the floor, and Hunk got started on throwing away their takeout containers and washing some dishes. A knock on their door, not one minute after their conversation startled them.

“He’s early!”

Two of the boy's speed cleaned, while Lance went to answer the door.

“Hi!” Lance had to look down to see the owner of this voice. “My name is Pidge. Pidge Gunderson.” The small boy stuck out his hand.

“The name’s Lance.” Lance shook his hand. The beat of his heart sped up tremendously. 

_ What the fuck? _ He thought to himself. He swung the door open further to introduce Keith and Hunk.

Lance led him to a large bedroom across from the living room and kitchenette. 

“Hi!” Hunk waved. “I’m Hunk! That’s Keith.” Keith waved from his bed, the top bunk.

“Hello,” said Pidge. “Pidge.” The small boy shook hands with each of them, having to stand on his toes to shake hands with Keith, while Keith leaned down significantly. 

Lance chuckled at how small he was. 

Lance showed Pidge to his bunk, it was the top one, across from Keith, while Lance had the bottom across from Hunk. 

"Why didn't you take the top?" Pidge asked Lance, "I mean if it were my bro- friends, they would have fought over the thing."

"Too tall, my head hits the roof when I sit up. And you look like you could use the extra height." Pidge visibly relaxed. He must have been a bit tense, but with Lance's jokes he eased up. He laughed a bit with Lance and Hunk, and Keith just grumbled, being the shortest second to Pidge. 

"So are you from here?" asked Hunk. 

"No. I'm from Italy. Moved to Dallas about four years ago. Finished up high school and then made it here," he explained. 

"That's cool. So you don't know what it's like here?" 

"My entire family has gone to this university, so it's where they sent me. I've never been to Altea though." Pidge shrugged. 

"Well, welcome!" Hunk exclaimed. 

The three men helped Pidge move his things in the room, and they took him to their favourite restaurant, The Sunset. 

It wasn't really a restaurant, however. More of a bar.

The four of them sat in a booth, and a woman wearing a tight, white tank top, cut at her navel, and tight black pants came up to them, ready to serve them. 

"What can I do for you cuties?" she asked. 

"Two beers," Lance ordered for both him and Keith. 

"Vodka cranberry, please," asked Hunk. 

Pidge looked down at his lap, refusing to make eye contact with the woman. "Pepsi, please," he mumbled. 

"Sorry, hun. Didn't catch that," the waitress said. 

"Pepsi," he repeated a bit louder. 

"He'll have a beer too." Lance turned to the waitress and winked. "Allura," he added after reading her name tag. 

"No. I'm gonna get he- him a Pepsi." Allura turned after writing down their orders. She walked back to the bar, the chains on her pants rattling. 

"We're at a bar. Why only a soft drink?"

"I ca- don't drink alcohol." Pidge shrugged. 

Keith nodded in understanding. 

"Anyway," Hunk cut in, "What's your major?"

"Uh, technology and engineering. You?" Pidge asked. 

"Culinary arts," Hunk answered. "What branch of engineering?"

Lance noticed that Pidge tensed up a bit with the questions, but he answered, "Astrophysics and robotics."

" _ Two  _ engineering courses?!" Keith asked incredulously. "That's not going to leave you much time for anything else. Are you taking night classes  _ and  _ day classes?"

"Actually, yeah. But staggered, so I can breathe a bit." He smiled. 

"How'd you manage that?" Lance asked. 

"I know some people. They can pull strings for me." He obviously wanted the conversation to be over, and the spotlight to be off of him. 

"Keith and I are in the piloting classes," Lance said.

"Nice! Shuttle, cargo or space?"

"Space. Duh. Most people come to Altea for the space program." Keith chuckled. 

Allura returned with their drinks, setting them down with care. Pidge's coaster napkin said something, but Lance couldn't make out what it was. 

Pidge read it quickly and slipped it into his pocket. Neither Hunk nor Keith seemed to notice this small exchange. But Lance did. 

When Allura left, Pidge downed his drink, then promptly stated that he needed to use the washroom, and to order hot wings for when he returned. 

* * *

"You okay, darling?" Allura asked Pidge as they met up in the girl's room. 

"This might be trickier than I thought. They keep asking questions," Pidge replied. 

"It's just them trying to get to know you. The questions will die down in a few days. What are you going by now with them?"

"Pidge Gunderson. Male."

Allura nodded. 

"Well Pidge, insult me as much as possible. Call me a slut, and easy. It'll get you farther with them. Trust me." Allura ruffled Pidge's hair and smeared some of her lipstick on Pidge's mouth. 

"What if they talk about you in a disgusting manner?" Pidge asked. Allura shrugged. 

"I work in a strip club, I get harassed all the time. It's fine." She pretended to be giddy and dazed, imitating someone who had been heavily kissed as she left the room. 

"Wait," Pidge called quietly. "Can you get us out? Or, me at least?" Allura winked as the door swung shut behind her. 

_ I see what she's done. Smart girl.  _

Pidge returned to the table, wiping the excess lipstick from her mouth, making a big show about it. She flattened her short, choppy hair into less of a disaster, though it couldn't really be fixed. 

" _ Nice _ ." Keith laughed. "Seeing her again?"

Pidge fought the words out as calm and "manly" as she could. 

"Nah," she almost choked on the following words. "A hoe. Too easy. Probably has eight STDs. I'm smarter than  _ that _ ."

Allura came to the table and crossed her arms in front of Pidge. 

"So, Mr. Too Smart. I'm easy? Says the one following a waitress to the restroom." She scowled at Pidge. She had to fight back a smile, knowing she had to thank the older woman later. 

"Hey, if my boy says your easy, he ain't wrong. I mean, if your outfit says anything–"

Allura splashed water from the cup on her tray into Lance's face and stormed away. 

"I am not easy," she grumbled as she stalked away.

It was requested that they leave for the night, and on the walk back to their dorm building they laughed about the scenario. Lance grumbled, being cold and wet. 

That just made Pidge giggle harder. 

* * *

Once they reached the dorms, Pidge asked if the desk in the back corner was in use. After being told that it was up for grabs, Pidge dropped a bag on top of it and took the rest of her things to the bedroom. 

She called first dibs on the bathroom and changed into her pyjamas, an oversized t-shirt and a pair of her brother's old basketball shorts, as well as a big Fallout 4 sweater. 

She climbed into her bunk and pulled her phone from her sweater pocket. 

**_Robobabe:_ ** _ Have I ever told you how amazing you are?!!!!!???!??!!? _

**_Queen bad bitch:_ ** _ I don't think you have. But if you feel a need, go right ahead.  _

**_Robobabe:_ ** _ YOU'RE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT WAS AWESOME! _

**_Queen bad bitch:_ ** _ I know.  _

"Yo Pidge, you shutting down for the night?" Hunk asked, tossing himself onto his bed. 

"Think so. Might be up a bit longer. Why? Y'all got a lights out rule?" Pidge asked, raising her eyebrows. 

* * *

"Where are you off to, young man?" Hunk asked, fighting a smile and holding a fatherly expression. 

"Uh, work?" Pidge raised her eyebrows. 

"Hey, you never told us where you–"

"Oh shit, I'm gonna be late!" Pidge grabbed her backpack and ran out the door. She got onto the elevator and slowed her pace after walking down. She was actually going to be quite early. 

She walked through the employee entrance of The Sunset. She popped into a change room and pulled on the tight black pants, and swapping her chest binder for a pushup bra tugging the skin-tight white shirt over her torso. She hated her work uniform. 

She walked behind the bar and bumped Allura with her hip.

"Where am I serving today?" she asked, with more enthusiasm than she actually felt.

"Um," Allura said while filling her tray with drinks, "you've got section B2." She smiled apologetically. "Good luck with all the assholes back there."

"Good lord this is gonna be a shitty night." she said rolling her eyes.


	2. Alright, do it.

Once they reached the dorms, Pidge asked if the desk in the back corner was in use. After being told that it was up for grabs, Pidge dropped a bag on top of it and took the rest of her things to the bedroom. 

She called first dibs on the bathroom and changed into her pyjamas, an oversized t-shirt and a pair of her brother's old basketball shorts, as well as a big Fallout 76 sweater. 

She climbed into her bunk and pulled her phone from her sweater pocket. 

**_Robobabe:_ ** _ Have I ever told you how amazing you are?!!!!!???!??!!? _

**_Heartbreak Princess:_ ** _ I don't think you have. But if you feel a need, go right ahead.  _

**_Robobabe:_ ** _ YOU'RE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT WAS AWESOME! _

**_Heartbreak Princess:_ ** _ I know.  _

"Yo Pidge, you shutting down for the night?" Hunk asked, tossing himself onto his bed. 

"Think so. Might be up a bit longer. Why? Y'all got a lights out rule?" Pidge asked, raising her eyebrows. 

* * *

"Where are you off to, young man?" Hunk asked, fighting a smile and holding a fatherly expression. 

"Uh, work?" Pidge raised her eyebrows. 

"Hey, you never told us where you–"

"Oh shit, I'm gonna be late!" Pidge grabbed her backpack and ran out the door. She got onto the elevator and slowed her pace after walking down. She was actually going to be quite early. 

She walked through the employee entrance of The Sunset. She popped into a change room and pulled on the tight black pants, and swapping her chest binder for an incredibly uncomfortable pushup bra tugging the skin-tight white shirt over her torso. She hated her work uniform. 

She walked behind the bar. 

"Where am I serving today?"

"Um," Allura said while filling her tray with drinks, "you've got section B2." She smiled apologetically. "Good luck, all the assholes sit in the back."

"Good lord this is gonna be a shitty night." she said rolling her eyes "Alright, see you later. "

* * *

"Why do we have no beer in the fridge!?" Keith yelled, catching the attention of the other guys in the living room. 

"Because we drank the last three last night!" Lance hollered back over his earphones. 

"Ugh," Keith groaned, flopping onto the couch face first. "I'm bored."

"Hey, let's go to The Sunset. That's always fun," Hunk suggested. 

"I'm down," Lance said enthusiastically, stuffing his phone in his pocket and standing. He stretched his arms, making his shirt ride up over his stomach a bit. "Keith?"

Keith grabbed his leather jacket off the hook by the door and threw it on, marching out of the door, followed closely by the other two.

* * *

"Hey babe," Lance said flirtatiously when he saw the waitress behind the counter was Allura, the woman who had thrown water in his face. 

" Hey boys, where do you wanna sit?" she asked, surprising Lance. He had expected to get slapped, not welcomed with a response. 

"Back please," Hunk said while Lance was checking out one of the girls walking past him. Hunk rolled his eyes and turned him toward where they were being seated. 

"Sit now, flirt later."

Lance whined. Allura rolled her eyes, bringing them to the very back corner of B2. 

"This good?" she asked standing in front of the booth. 

"Perfect," Keith said, sliding in next to Lance. 

"Thanks, babe." Allura winked at Lance, inwardly laughing at him. She turned around, took two steps toward the bar and froze as she realized that it was Pidge's corner. Then she turned around, seeing Pidge walking towards one of the tables next to the three boys. 

A guy at a nearby table whipped out his hand and grabbed Pidge's ass as she walked by. She jumped slightly, then regained her composure and glared at him. She started to panic as the man stood up and grabbed her waist, pulling her close to him. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. It made her nauseous. 

At that point, Keith stood up and pushed the man back onto the seat. 

"She's not your property," he said angrily. "Hands off." 

Allura had called security through her earpiece. They arrived, just as the man was about to throw a punch at Keith. He and his friends were sent home and were banned for the month. Keith turned around to the waitress. 

"Are you o-" his voice cut off when he recognized it was Pidge. She put her finger to her mouth to hush him, with wild eyes and quickly walked back to the bar. 

Pidge walked back to the bar and around the corner to the employee room, hoping and praying that Keith wouldn't say anything to the other boys when she saw the manager approaching her. 

"Take the night off. That looked uncomfortable." The manager patted her shoulder. 

Pidge nodded and grabbed her things from her work locker. She changed quickly rushing to get home before the boys. Right before she reached the door, she glanced at Keith. He returned the action and gave such a subtle nod she wasn't even sure if she saw it. She pushed open the door and left. 

Pidge walked into the dorm and went to her bed, hiding her uniform in the book box that was at the base of her bed, because Lance claimed he was allergic to reading. Perfect spot. 

_ ‘Ugh, I wanna shower,’ _ she thought to herself, smelling the stale beer on her skin, grabbing her towel and change of clothes, as well as her key. She peeked out the doorway to make sure no one saw her and slipped into the girl's shower room. Stripping, she threw her towel on the hook and put her shampoo on the shelf, quietly humming as she showered. Out of the blue, and extremely odd as it was nearing one in the morning, she heard boys walking down the hall. 

"Alright. Do it," said an extremely familiar voice

**Author's Note:**

> This was co-written with my girl Mikaela last summer on a really shitty trip across the country. This is where we kept our sanity, and you can kinda see in later chapters where we were slipping. God that trip sucked.


End file.
